Maybe the photographer was initially told he'd be taking concept photos of the stars of a movie adapted from a very popular series of books. He thought his subjects were going to be the kids from Harry Potter. Then he finds out it's Twilight. "What the fuck is Twilight?" he thinks to himself. So he buys the first book and reads it because he's a conscientious guy and wants to do a good job. After the first few chapters, he's all, "Fuck Twilight," and is so pissed he decides to give RPatz Ebola face as revenge.

Jacob looks shellacked in that last picture. And he's still one of the less offensive looking cast members. So sad! Also, for someone who's supposedly super strong, Edward looks rather distressed and overtaxed by having to haul Bella around in the rain.

As much as I'd like to think it was revenge snark on EW's part, what probably happened was that they didn't have the makeup artist from the movie, so they just had to cook up something on their own. I seem to remember Johnny Depp also being horrendously white--like, clown greasepaint white--on the Sweeney Todd EW cover as well.

Oh, and Jacob looks horrible. And who's the other one, the vampire who goes after Bella? I don't even know. They're all pretty horrific. I do like that RPattz and his farmer tan do seem to be bossing Kristen/Bella around even in staged photographs, though.

That is whatshisface who will always be Volchuck from the OC to me. I think his name is James in the book? I always forget.

I just call him Plot Boy in my head, I don't know.

He killed Marissa Cooper so hes done something good in his life.

Well, apparently the backlash on the cover has been picked up ...

Backlash

People, I am laughing so hard at those pictures I can't breathe. I'm supposed to be reading my Admin Law assignment, but instead I am doubled over laughing/crying and dry heaving. Oh my GOD. These books are truly the gift that keeps on giving.

HA!

One of the comments is priceless:

Forest vs. trees, and trees are winning!

From that L.A. Times article:

BZZZZT. Sry, rong anser u fail.

That was totally the part I noticed too. She is the exact opposite of "independent minded."

I can't do it. I just can't look at that EW cover without breaking into giggles. It's too much.

I totally ran over here to link that. Also, I love that the backlash merits coverage in the LA Times and the magazine isn't even out yet.

ETA: Ah, the cover stories are now on ew.com.

From the article

Whining is depth now?

It's good to know these things.

Now that I'd like to read.