Aw, I thought Kyle Brandt turned out to be a better actor than Pretty Phillip, who I never really like, but according to spoilers <<Pretty Original Phillip is going to be Phillip again>>.

Yeah, I liked the old Philip better. But I hate that Victor is being such an asshole about Claire when she's not even Philip's baby. And staging that kidnapping? That was low. That was something that Chelsea or Sami would do. Victor is on the same level as Stefano and Vivian, and yet he's stooping to that level? What an ass. And Kate? Needs to shut up, because she constantly interferes in her kids' lives and then complains when they want her out of their lives and then she's all "I've stood by them," which, no. All she's ever done is fucked up their lives more because she never just tells them the truth.

Although if everyone on soaps told the truth, the shows wouldn't be worth watching (not that most of them are, anyway, but still).

I actually like DOOL again, thanks to Hogan Sheffer, and I'm loving the return of Evil! Victor, although hes better than stealing babies. His rant to Shawn was awesome. I've never really liked Shawn though, his behaviour after the baby discovery towards Philip was cold. I am liking Belle now though. Its weird.

I flipped past General Hospital today and I just have to get this out:

Did the Bitch (aka Emily Quartermaine) spawn? She was pushing a baby in a carriage and Helena Cassadine, back from the dead and as beautiful and ineffective as ever, was watching her with the spawn. Who is the spawn's daddy? Why am I even asking?

Yeah, that wasn't Emily's baby. That's Nikolas's son Spencer, who he had with Courtney, who died during the virus epidemic that swept Port Charles back in February. After Jax and Carly lied about the baby's paternity to help the baby stay safe from Helena, Nikolas found out at the christening when Robin told him (because it's Robin and she does that). And then Helena found out and placed a Cassadine mole at Wyndemere to keep tabs on Spencer, but the mole turned on her and Helena briefly allied with Emily about the evil nanny, but with the spotty writing, it kind of got swept under the rug.

As for Days, yeah, I'm not a big Shawn fan and it's nice to see Victor doing something other than bitching about Nicole all the time (which he did from 2003-just now). I just wish they'd get Stefano back full-time and give Celeste more screentime (because she's awesome, even if she really doesn't do all that much).

Passions? Anyone?

I watched for years and then dropped it for a while, I'm considering picking it back up again, and I need a who's-doing-what (or who's-doing-who) to get started. I watched a few days ago and Sheridan and Luis WEREN'T TOGETHER, despite a complete lack of evil mind control.

Or, well, evil mind control that was very visible in the half episode that I saw.

*Pulls up a chair*

Ok, so, a few months / years ago (I wasn't watching at this point) Sheridan had a friend, who had a son named James. Then there was a tsunami in Harmony, (I know) and the friend died, leaving Sheridan to take care of James. Then Chris showed up claiming to be James' dad. He was really working for Alistair. Sheridan still doesn't know. Because she's an idiot. At some point, Luis had left Harmony in search of Marty, who Beth had disappeared with (with Alistair's help). Alistair was holding Luis prisoner, and made everyone think he was dead. Sheridan and Chris were in Hawaii looking for Marty, and they found Luis, but not until after getting married. For a while, Sheridan hid her marriage, but eventually, they told Luis the truth.

Fancy is Julian and Ivy's daughter, and Luis' new love interest (I love them together for some reason). She first came into the picture when she met Noah Bennett in Las Vegas, and they started dating. They came back to Harmony at some point. Jared is Theresa's new love interest. JT is a tabloid guy that is blackmailing half of Harmony and sleeps with Rebecca. Spike is Jessica's pimp / husband. And he is fug. Also, he worked for Alistair and is blackmailing Chris. Plus, he fug.

There was a whole Rome storyline that isn't really important, except for a few things that came out of it. Noah and Fancy are over, she likes Luis now. Theresa's given up on Ethan (sort of) and moved on. Ethan is Little Ethan's father, but only Theresa, Whitney, Pilar, and JT know . Chad isn't Eve and Julian's son, but Alistair and Liz's (Eve's dead step-sister) son. So, he and Whitney aren't related after all. And now they're getting married, and Chad's been having an affair, and Whitney has had suspicions, but Chad denies them. Alistair, Beth, and Marty are all supposedly dead, but this is (1) a soap, (2) an NBC soap, and (3) Passions.

Miguel is back, and in love with Kay. She finally admitted that she loves him too, but she's engaged to Fox, and he's being Crane-y. Julian and Eve recently broke up, and it looks like he and Ivy might get back together. (The truth about her paying David Hastings to pretend to be Grace's husband finally came out.) Simone is a lesbian.


That's all I can think of off the top of my head, but feel free to ask any other questions here, or pm me.

So Courtney died on GH. Well, hallelujah! Why is Nikolas' son named Spencer? Was it to piss off Helena? Spencer Cassadine sounds like a law firm.

Nikolas named his son Spencer to needle Luke, I think. But also, as a way to pay respect to his mother, Lucky, and Lulu.

Speaking of General Hospital, WTF are they doing to Maxie? Faking a pregnancy? Just when I thought I couldn't hate her more this is what they do.

The only storyline GH knows how to tell apparently. Sigh.

Lily and Holden's middle daughter Natalie and her cousin Sage (Carly and Jack's daughter) have been aged to around 10, I think. Carly and Jack's two oldest sons are around thirteen or fourteen. I'm guessing based on how they look. I really should pay attention to these things.

OMG I KNOW. I haaaaaaate her. On top of being whiny, she blames everybody else in Oakdale for her problems. I'm at my parents so I'm watching live and can't FF through all of her annoyingness, which is really too bad. For me, I mean.

And now faking a miscarriage. I guess she'll be found out eventually when someone finds the pillow that she's been wearing under her blouses. After all, that's a much more logical way for the truth to come out than it would have been had the OB/GYN who gave her the ultrasound noticed that she had a completely empty uterus. Stupid fake doctors.

See, I kind of love that Maxie was faking the pregnancy. First of all, I was just so damn relieved the pregnancy was fake. Secondly, I can enjoy an all-out cheesy bad girl who pulls crazy shit like faking a pregnancy and doesn't apologize for it. She might when it all comes out, but for now she's just crazy. More importantly, both she and the show know that she's crazy. I don't have half of Port Charles telling me how super and awesome and wonderful and misunderstood Maxie is. No one was preaching about what a fabulous mother she would make. Everyone called her on her skanky ways, and she embraces her own skankiness. She's not my favorite character or anything, but she at least makes me giggle. And it's sweet how Georgie tries to look out for her.

Despite everything I just said, I only watch about half (if that, even) of the scenes Maxie is in, and I fast-forwarded the fall because I saw where that was going the minute she and Lucky approached the stairs. So, my question is, did she fall accidentally or did she orchestrate it to create a scenario for a miscarriage?

I'm still taping AMC (my Zach and Kendall love knows no bounds. Truly, it's a sickness), but I FF a lot of it, too. I have to. Otherwise, the Babe scenes would send me into a blind rage and there would totally be a remote-shaped hole in my TV. I was watching live the day of the funeral reception, and when Babe picked up Miranda? Holy crap. I just gaped at the TV. I'm pretty sure my eyes were bugging a little bit. Who the hell thought that scene was a good idea? I have never hated a fictional character as much as I hate Babe, and I've hated Ryan Lavery and Sonny Corinthos with the best of them. Gah. So much hate.

I heard about >>Alan on GH,<< and I'm completely bummed. I really don't know what ABC Daytime's problem is. It's like they seriously want to piss off as many people as possible. After the way they treated Julia Barr at AMC, I hope karma comes back and bites these people in the ass big time. The woman didn't get even get a goodbye! After how many years on the show, the best McTavish can come up with is "her last day will be whenever her contract is up." Boo, you whores.

Oh my god, I love this show like BURNING.

I mean, none of this is even near the beauty of the prom boat, or the line "I'm picking mushrooms to destroy goodness", but in fairness, really, what COULD?

So Sheridan's as dumb as she always has been, people on the show believed someone was dead despite the MYRIAD TIMES it's been proven that Harmony residents never die, they just get played by new actors, and... god, it's like I never left.

I cannot believe the Miguel/Kay saga is still going on. My god, it's going to last forever.

And Simone's a lesbian? Man, Passions DOES love me.

Basically, this was the best summary EVER.

Between learning all of this and finding some clips on youtube of Zombie Charity, it truly does feel like Bad Soap Christmas.

She never actually had an ultrasound, she just stole the ultrasound report from another patient at the hospital so it looked like she had.

She had an ultrasound a couple of days ago, after she fell down the stairs. It wasn't Doctor Lee; it was some extra Doctor #4 or somebody, and afterwards he was all, "I'm so sorry Maxie. We didn't hear a heartbeat." Heh. No kidding, doc.