He probably is. I mean, I'm pissed off about it, and it ain't even sitting on my head!

Dudes, I got you all beat. One of my freight vendors is a tiny little pornstache-carrying dude named Ken Hanson who looks exactly like that guy. When I saw that program on History last month, I nearly lost my shit.

452, give or take a 3% margin of error. And because Ted in accounting isn't that kind of guy.

Oh my God, I thought it couldn't possibly be as bad as all your comments made it out to be, but it is. It is.

Okay, I'd estimated around 600 so it's a little comforting that someone smarter than I has determined a lower number of incidents.

But, see, the magic and the horror is that this man can see you through the net.

It's true. I've opened that link twice now and both times he's been looking right at me. I'm pretty sure that if I left the window open and went to a different part of the office, he'd be staring out of someone else's computer. I'd tell him to stop, but I'm afraid to find out if he can hear me, too.

For a moment, I was afraid he had devoured my soul. Then I remembered that I have none, so no harm done.

I was gonna say the exact same thing!

Seriously, that dude creeps me out more than Terrence Trent D'arby. And few things in this world creep me out more than Terrence Trent D'arby.

I'm not trying to metaquote myself, honestly. I just started it in a fit of rage:


Lady Cynara:: RHODE ISLAND IS A LEGITIMATE STATE
Lady Cynara:: OUR DELEGATES COUNT, FOX NEWS ASSFACES
Instant Skyblade:: More than Delaware's anyway
#exiledprincess:: all both of them?
Lady Cynara:: YES
Brainchild1984:: YOUR DELEGATES SUXXORS THO
Lady Cynara:: MY DELEGATES CAN TOTALLY BEAT UP YR DELEGATES
Brainchild1984:: NUH UH. WE'RE FARMERS. WE HAVE PITCHFORKS AND HEAVY SHARP MACHINERY. WE CAN FUCK YOUR SHIT UP. OR AT LEAST MAKE YOU LOSE SOME LIMBS.
Lady Cynara:: WE HAVE RAZOR SHARP CLAM SHELLS AND THE MAFIA
bookworm:: WE HAVE TOBACCO FARMERS
bookworm:: AND SOFTWARE DESIGNERS
Brainchild1984:: WE HAVE LOTS OF LOTS OF METH HEADS
Brainchild1984:: PH34R OUR TWEAKER ARMY
Instant Skyblade:: ILLINOIS IS A ONE HIT WONDER STATE
Brainchild1984:: O NO YOU DI'INT
bookworm:: MY STATE HAS RAP MUSIC
bookworm:: AND THE KLAN
#bookworm:: DO NOT MESS WITH MY STATE
Brainchild1984:: MY FORMER HOME STATE HAS EAST ST. LOUIS
Brainchild1984:: AND THE SOUTH SIDE OF CHICAGO
exiledprincess:: BOTH. AT THE SAME TIME.
Lady Cynara:: WE HAVE FAMILY GUY
Instant Skyblade:: And the Farrelly Brothers
Instant Skyblade:: and James Woods
Instant Skyblade:: I mean, seriously, James Woods
Instant Skyblade:: is that isn't a cause for FEAR
Instant Skyblade:: I don't what is
bookworm:: WE USED TO HAVE MICHAEL VICK. FEEEEEEEEAAAAAAR
Lady Cynara:: WE HAVE THE MOST CORRUPT GOVERNMENT OUTSIDE OF PUTIN'S RUSSIA
bookworm:: WE HAVE A GOVERNOR WHO IS SUING TENNESEE OVER A RIVER

United we stand!

Yeah, you bitches better not be fucking with Illinois. Also, as a South Sider, that East St. Louis comparison was mean. (We can still kick their asses, though.) And we could give Russia a run for its corruption money. And we're better at democracy than the Russians are, because here in Chi-Town, democrats get free bonus votes! And we have better rap music than any of y'alls. Don't deny it. Plus, our rappers will bring Daft Punk along. How many other states can claim Daft Punk? Yeah, I thought so.

Besides, Kanye West's ego alone can probably crush at least half the east coast.

Heeee! Y'all are hilarious. But you know, WE have (if I'm rooting for NJ) ""harmful algae blooms," Mafia folks with really harsh accents that will make your ears bleed (if you go to North Jersey, anyway), and Kevin Smith, who can taunt very effectively. OR (if I'm rooting for my current abode, VA), the Pentagon, which will Fuck Your Shit Up, and...well, Dubya is practically in our back yard, which should be a scary enough thought for anyone.* Heh.

* Oh yeah. AND there's always Michael Vick. *sigh*

Whatever. My hometown wins.

The state I live in wins. Seriously, we survived Sherman! Yankees!