Metaquotes

dinahmoe,

In response to seeing these crimes against both feet and fashion, said

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The person who designed those boots hates happiness.

I've aready used this line in everyday conversation.

Lady of Shalott in the Blowing Off Steam thread, with her well-deserved rant about morons at the grocery store:

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No sheep, no beads, no Jamaican money, no Euros, no beaver skins, no jewelry, no giant-stone-wheel money, no interpretive dance, no offering to turn tricks for your CAN. OF. BEANS. MY SWEET LORD.

That whole rant is a thing of beauty. They should make a movie out of it and play it on a television screen above the self-checkout lane in every grocery store on the planet. Even the ones that do take sheep.

Putli Bai on a particularly sacreligious version of "Little Drummer Boy" here:

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NO. Just NO. No touching the Savior.

Jesus H. Garcia in the Interesting News Stories thread:

QUOTE (Jesus H. Garcia @ December 11, 2007 05:16 pm)

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she claimed to have given birth to quads - Kier, Kie, Kyla and Conrad. ..She then claimed a fifth child, Kacey, had been born on 21 September, 2005, and that a sixth, Kelsey, had been delivered six days after that. ..Her final deception came when she said she had given birth to the seventh child, Jake

I wonder how her imaginary doctors felt about that week-long delivery of twins. Anyway, her imaginary children's names make no sense. Konrad with a K is a real name in Germany. If you're going for cutesy, matchy names, don't do it half-assed. When the Duggars ran out of J names, did that stop them? No! They just started making up names like "Jinger". Lady, please!

Kiran has some advice for psychotic fans

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I mean when Colin Farrell wont have sex with you you know you got problems.

Genevieve and mri in blowing off steam, giving advice on avoiding the flu.

Genevieve

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Take your zinc. Wash your hands.
Don't lick too many people.

mri

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How many people is too many people, exactly?

Genevieve

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I say more than five in a given day and you are asking to catch smallpox.

psammead on a very angry Doctor Who-related LJ post:

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I should mention that, as a white male heterosexual Christian, I am inordinately privileged both in my country and on the world stage. Thus, all that follows is the righteous anger of somebody who was not the direct victim of your recent statements, but rather a human being who cares about other human beings’ feelings.

Good thing you told us you're a Christian because the heading Why must Rusty be still alive? didn't give much of a clue.

Well, Scarlettfish, its true. Colin is hot as hell, but hooking up with him is a totally attainable goal. Seriously. "Lose 10 lbs, get that promoted to customer service from cashier, bang Colin Farrell" all can be achieved within a fiscal year.

Except if you crazy.

tothemax for the win in the Jamie Lynne Spears thread, responding to a post which quoted a lawyer's letter denying her pregnancy and describing Jamie Lynne as "morally upright":

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Morally upright? Jamie Lynn couldn't even stay physically upright.

QUOTE (Kiran @ December 19, 2007 10:11 pm)

I'm totally adding that to my new year's resolutions.

I totally would too because Colin is hot as HELL, but that boy is probably more diseased than Paris Hilton.

You could spray him over with some lysol.

Thanks, sigitare!

In Christina Aguilera's thread, P.D. Noosh reacts to the combination of Christina's makeup and weight gain:

QUOTE (P.D. Noosh @ December 25, 2007 01:50 pm)

Whatever, haters. I think Chi Chi Larue looks fabulous!