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Um yeah, take a pillow, slowly add more feathers to the stuffing, file for adoption papers/steal a baby/give birth 5-10 months later. |
| QUOTE (jstilwe @ December 15, 2006 07:36 am) |
| Yeah, my road's not high, either. I'd have to write back: "Oh, great, that's a relief! The thought of you touching me made me want to vomit and was distracting me from our project at church. Things will be so much easier now that I know your obsessive stalking wasn't sexually motivated but was in fact just a manifestation of your social ineptitude. See you at the Christmas luncheon!" |
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| I heard "Happy Christmas (War Is Over)" three times yesterday -- hurry up, "Wonderful Christmastime", it's gaining on you! -- which did not help to make me despise it any less. What have I done? Well, I didn't have a son and then totally abandon him, so I guess I'm one up on you there, Dead John Lennon. Happy Sanctimony Day! |
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I know you get nervous talking to cute guys... I would have broken out "Fortunately, I have no trouble talking to you," but... yeah. He's totally Mr. Collins. He needs the big guns. I suggest "I can't answer the phone because I'm dead. Also, I hate you." |
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| Aw, the trailer for the Transformer movie looks awesome. If anyone can make it visually cool, it's Michael Bay. He's the director of Blowing Cool Shit Up and Whee! Explosives! I think that qualifies him for this. |
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| Wait, you mean that isn't a tiny, furry modesty suit?! |
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| I always find it weird that people actually write to Dear Abby about this, though. Don't you have friends to ask? |
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| I once spent a Christmas Eve alone because my parents had to go watch my nieces and nephew because my sister was sick, and I was like, "Dude, I'm alone on Christmas Eve. I'm not watching some sappy Christmas movie that'll just make me sadder. I'll just watch Dark City and get stoned!" God bless us, every one. |