So there we are in chat,
talking about pedicures and vacations having an extremely important discourse on major world events and their implications for humanity, when yet again
Kiran brilliantly decides to class up the joint, and drags us all along with her:
Kiran59:: So is everyone spoilerproof for HP?
Genevieve:: yeah. it's okay. You can tell people that Hermione dies of HPV because she is a hoor.
Kiran59:: No, Ginnys the hoor
Kiran59:: that bitch had the gall to look Harry in the face
Kiran59:: shes gonna die of syphillis
punzy:: and offer birthday sex
Kiran59:: THAT SLUT!11
Genevieve:: oh Ginny becomes a mid-level manager at Boots.
particle_person:: harry's gonna die of the crabs
Kiran59:: Ginny and Harry's kids? Not really Harrys.
Kiran59:: Thats why only one of them has green eyes
punzy:: Draco's!
Kiran59:: shes been stepping out with Draco and Oliver Wood for years
Kiran59:: And once, Neville.
Genevieve:: Harry wakes up next to Suzanne Pleshette, having had the weirdest dream.
Genevieve:: where he was an inkeeper in Vermont.
JuliaMac1:: Hermione and Luna, duh
Genevieve:: Mrs. Weasley? writes slash in her sparetime.
particle_person: she so does
particle_person:: she lights candles to snape
particle_person:: green candles
Genevieve:: and she is wellknown on Journalfen.
Kiran59:: I've been bugging Sirius fangirls, by telling them about Molly and Sirius's forbidden love
Kiran59:: He was young man right out of Hogwarts, she was an older married mother.
JuliaMac1:: Molly and Sirius hooked up through a "casual encounter" on Craigslist
Kiran59:: It could never last, but oh, it was beautiful.
Kiran59:: Her ending it is what led him to pimpdom fulltime
Kiran59:: and thats why they fight now, cause they know that they cant give in to their true desires
Kiran59:: Why do you think she was REALLY so hot to kill Bellatrix?
Kiran59:: I am so writing their true love on my LJ when its back up.
Kiran59:: I picture it being a mixture of "Bridges of Madison County" and "The Graduate"
Kiran59:: "Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs. Weasly"
Kiran59:: "We cant end it Molly! Most people never get this kinda love...most people...dont even believe it exists! Are you telling me to get on this motorbike and just fly away?"
Kiran59:: "Arthur is a great man....but I know you in a way he NEVER WILLL!"
Kiran59:: "Dont tell me to go back to my hos and muggle girls!"
Kiran59:: "It cant happen, Molly.
Kiran59:: "This is my heart <puts her hand on his chest> and is breaking"
ratkitten:: Mrs Weasley has to be a Hoor -- Ginny learned it from the best
Genevieve:: and Neville smokes pot on the weekends while listening to old Genesis albums.
Genevieve:: Neville likes to do origami while high.
ratkitten:: I always had neville pegged as a Pink Floyd fan
Kiran59:: Why do you think he spends so much time with plants?
JuliaMac1:: well, he is good at "herbology"
Kiran59:: His fave rapper is Afroman
Genevieve:: and he is working on this amazing hydroponic variety of pot that is going to be a top-seller in Amsterdam.
Genevieve:: it will be known as Muggle-mauve.
ratkitten:: Watching the Wizard of Oz, cueing it up with dark side of the moon
Kiran59:: Hes one of those "Tune in, Turn out" professors
punzy:: Luna is his best customer?
Kiran59:: That she is
Genevieve:: Luna goes to Burning Man every year.
Lady Cynara:: you know sirius was there for tonks when Lupin was being an idiot
Kiran59:: Of course
Kiran59:: Sirius always steps in when fine ladies need comforting
Kiran59:: Then he gets them naked
Kiran59:: Yo
punzy:: and hooked on drugs?
particle_person:: sirius will provide
ratkitten:: related? schmrelated
Kiran59:: Hey, they all thought that she was originally in love with him
Genevieve:: you want werewolf?
JuliaMac1:: ask not what Sirius can do for you....
ratkitten:: but what you can do for daddy>
Kiran59:: No one questioned that his cousin was her mom
Kiran59:: They were just all "Yeah, she wants Sirius", cause thats how Sirius rolls with the fineass bitches
ratkitten:: Everyone is related to Sirius... when they want some fine ass
punzy:: no degrees of sanguity here!
#Genevieve:: Percy it turns out is a twink and is well known in the leather scene.
Kiran59:: Seriously, though, I love that Gary Oldman is just so beliveable as a pimp
Kiran59:: Like you dont question it
punzy:: his Dracula was pretty pimping too
ratkitten:: exactly -- the crushed velvet coat?
punzy:: the Lennon glasses and yop hat
Kiran59:: I actually went through old pics of him, and was able to create a "Pimp fashions through Sirius Black's life" retrospective
Kiran59:: for my lj
Kiran59:: and I was right about the "Sirius Likes Muggle Girls" tidbit meaning more Mary Sue Fanfic
Kiran59:: "Sirus falls for Muggle, knocks her up....and is locked away!" seems to be the geniune pattern.
Kiran59:: Hes a pimp, man. He dont stay with one woman more than two nights a row!
Kiran59:: Thats not to say he wont do them several times
Kiran59:: just not in a pattern so to suggest a commited relationship.
Kiran59:: This was also the reason Lily hated them when they were teens
ratkitten:: That and his almost rabid fear of drapery
Kiran59:: but that takes away from the Pimpdom
ratkitten:: Pimps don't need no window treatments!
Kiran59:: BITCH DID I SAY YOU COULD SEW ME CURTAINS!1
Lady Cynara:: i like to think that neville and luna got married and had motherfuckin badass hippie babies
Kiran59:: I kinda want Draco to have married Luna and had weird Aryan babies
Kiran59:: Anyway, Michael Chambons Dumbledore totally looks like a toker
Kiran59:: I'm just saying
ratkitten:: Gillyweed
punzy:: but he is angry
punzy:: so bad weed
ratkitten:: Put that in your bong and get your eyes twinkling
JuliaMac1:: stems and seeds?
ratkitten:: His eyes aren't twinkling -- they're just pinpoint and watery
Lady Cynara:: lemon drops my ass
ratkitten:: don't take the brown lemon drops, y'all
Kiran59:: Aw I love his Dumbledore
Kiran59:: I cant help it, hes so inappropriately badass
Kiran59:: I love it when Senior citizens are threatening
Kiran59:: Like, Angela Lansbury!
ratkitten:: but with a deathstick
Kiran59:: Well, when Angela Lansbury heads into a town, people die
Kiran59:: its true
ratkitten:: very true
Kiran59:: Jessica Fletcher is a merchant of hell!!!
Kiran59:: But a badass one
Kiran59: I love Angela Lansbury, but you know who I love more, Bea Arthur
ratkitten: she had the caftans
ratkitten: and estelle getty
Kiran59: I read somewhere that someone (it might have been Rufus Wainwright) told her that he' d always wished she was her grandmother
Kiran59: and she went "I'm not your fucking grandma"
Kiran59: So was Betty White
punzy: Betty White rocks
Kiran59: Hell all the Golden Girls kick ass