You don't need a getaway driver in Minneapolis, less than five minutes from my parent's house, when you rob my old bank and stop at my favorite liquor store and get a (probably very tasty) sandwich from one of the best sub shops in the city.

What is it about Chinese men and their fingernails?

Secret Service investigates satanic vampire presidential candidate for threatening to impale Bush after he's been elected.

I got a good laugh out of that until I read that The Impaler is from New Jersey. Sigh.

Tiger cubs adopted by pig.

Aw, they're so gorgeous!

Tigers and leopards = leone *SQUEE!!!* x eleventy

Girl finds missing dog's head in box on doorstep.

Oh my God. That poor girl. And her poor dog too.

Sometimes I really hate humans.

I saw that story in the online Minneapolis Star-Tribune this morning, and started crying at my desk. I wanted to resign from the human race after reading it.

Oh my God. Oh my God. What the fuck?!

*sigh* First the puppy in the oven and now this. I...have no words. :*-(

...I think I like my homestate better when drunk guys are robbing banks and getting away on the bus with a tasty sandwich.

The hell? As if leaving the poor dog's severed head wasn't sadistic enough, the bastard had to leave a note and candy? (Still, I don't get the "implied" terrorist threat that the police are investigating. There has to be some other law that applies.)

I don't think it was political terrorism so much as stalky personal terrorism. Because seriously, WHAT THE FUCK.

And why were batteries included on top?