Keith Urban vs Keith Urban. Normally I have little sympathy with the 'how dare this little person have the same name as me, a celebrity?' argument but in this case the unfamous Keith Urban's work is such utter tosh that his website deserves to be wiped off the face of the earth.

Quantas first-class lavatories must be twice the size of BA economy ones if someone can 'follow you in'.

And on the subject of law-breaking

How did they do that legally?

Billy Zane and £25,000 worth of garden ornaments. That's a lot of gnomes.

How could anyone do that with Lord Voldemort. Honestly, he's the Dark Lord folks. :)

Can someone just buy him a big portable prison cell?

Omar Sharif on anger management course

And is it actually illegal to join the mile-high club? The BBC investigates,

That's the best excuse for getting fired ever.

"So how did you lose your job?"

"Oh, I got caught banging Ralph Fiennes."

Do they have proof that they actually had sex, or is everyone assuming that it happened because they came out of the bathroom at the same time? It isn't that unlikely that he followed her in there and she rebuffed his advances (no pun intended). I wonder if the airline interviewed him about what happened?

Well according to page six (yesterday I can't find the link) she claims he was flirting with her, followed her to the bathroom, tried it on and she declined BUT her coworkers saw her and him leave at the same time and reported it.

Reluctant as I am to believe anything the Daily Mail says, the steward's story seems to have changed somewhat. And it is true that Fiennes has a reputation for not being able to keep his trousers zipped.

I had heard the story as "she turned him down," so I'm weirdly relieved that it turns out she might have taken him up on it after all. Maybe because if Ralph Fiennes can't get action, there's no hope for the rest of us at all.

Yeah that was the most weird part for me. I was all....I would have just banged him. Its Ralph Fiennes. Sorry, Francesca Annis. But hey, Alex Kingston got over you two, so yeah.

I think my favorite parts here are this:

"Lisa was completely smitten by him," said a friend. "She just hoped that the relationship could continue on from there but perhaps she was hoping for too much."

- because it just amuses me how delusional people are -

And this:

According to the actor's schedule, he had to set off the next morning for engagements in Indian villages, which included 'preaching' about the dangers of Aids and the need to engage in safe sex.

- because if she's telling the truth, he definitely doesn't practice what he preaches.

But hey, I guess if you have to get an STD, at least getting one from a world-famous actor could give it some kind of cache. Er. Maybe.