Even better is the author's love poetry.
(Which you can buy from Amazon for over $100. Act now.)

Oh my, this is great:

That's possibly the most ridiculous thing I've seen all week.

I love the author's wonderful turn of phrase:

From now on when I have a plan to, say, mow the lawn or go for a walk, I'm just going to tell people, "See y'all later! I'm going to go outside and do!"

I also love the horses smoking cigarettes or possibly weed. I keep wondering how they got them in their mouths and lit. I cannot come up with any simple explanations. Anyone?

I was really looking forward to the point where the sister horses told on Latawnya. I was hoping the line after "We must tell Mom and Dad horse on you for your own good." was "After hearing about their idiot daughter's shenanigans in the woods, Mom and Dad horse whupped Latawnya's scrawny horse ass all the way back to the barn. Which is how Latawnya, who did whatever she saw, turned into a violent and abusive horse."

P.S. The overdose horse is an ether addict. You can totally tell.

I love that amongst such poems as 'The Romantic Dream', there is 'My Fiance Stood Me Up'.

We were galloping toward Barstow on the edge of the wood when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like, "I feel a bit lightheaded; whose legs are these, anyway...." And suddenly there was a scary noise from the bushes and the woods were full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving at our heads, which were going about a hundred miles an hour toward Houston. And a voice was screaming: "Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?"

Then it got quiet again. Daisy and Latoya had taken off their saddles and were pouring beer on their backs to facilitate the delousing process. "What the hell are you yelling about?" Latoya muttered, staring up at the sun with her eyes closed and covered with wraparound Spanish sunglasses. "Never mind," I said. No point mentioning those bats, I thought. Poor bastard will see them soon enough.

The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a horse in the depths of a ether binge.

Cleo, are you taking notes? Because you should be!

(via Making Light)

The Demonic Squirrel Motorcyle-riding Story

Squirrels with Lightsabers

HEEHEEHEE. But were the horses driving a huge convertible? Did they pick up a hitchhiker horse?

If they did, I bet Latawnya was the one driving, and I'm SURE she was speeding. After all, she's a naughty horse.

The Tags Customers Associate with this Product section is funny too. The tags include idiotic, Lindsay Lohan, and, naturally, dexamethasone.

I am laughing my ass off at Latawnya the naughty horse's druggie misadventures. Besides the poetry and the crackhead horses, the "author" has also written a book entitled "Spicy True Stories, Investigators Lies, Slanders And Stocks" that sounds as if it was written by a paranoid five-year-old.

I don't think I understand what goes on in this book. Is there lying?

OK, if this woman with her awful grammar can publish a book, surely so can I. Perhaps I will make that my next project.

I think I will call it Hedgehogs on Crack: A Bad Idea.

Who wants to be my illustrator?

Charishawk, it's a vanity press if I'm not mistaken.

I don't even know what that last sentence means.

Cat Google! I so wish that this website actually existed.