Absurd And Humorous Websites

H.F. No. 224, Minnesota House of Representatives

QUOTE

Section 1. [138.99] POET LAUREATE.
1.6 Subdivision 1. Appointment.
1.7 The Gov' shall appoint a state poet laureate,
1.8 Who shall serve for a four-year term.
1.9 Because this appointment will always be great,
1.10 There's no need for the Senate to confirm.
1.11 In appointing a poet for the public good,
1.12 And to ensure there's no unjust omission,
1.13 The governor shall consider, if he would
1.14 Thoughts of the Humanities Commission.
1.15 Subd. 2. Removal.
1.16 The poet will be free to write rhyming lines,
1.17 With removal only for cause,
1.18 But we trust that the bard will promptly resign,
1.19 If the verse reads as badly as laws.
...

QUOTE

At age 86 a tiger will maul you. Don't ask why, but you will be in a Burmese jungle.

I'm going to visit Myanmar that far in the future? Sheesh.

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The Glen: At age 60 you will die fighting the Global War on Terrorism in Canada.

I'll just take a moment to imagine the scenario in which Ireland will declare war on Canada.

I knew I went to college in the right state!

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woolhat: At age 68 you will be hunted by a strange apparition resembling Andy Griffith, and subsequently commit suicide after the stress proves to be too much.

Just like I always imagined!

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At age 81 you will realize that you actually died three years earlier, and have been dreaming all the events since then.

I must turn out to be a really sucky person if no one cares to tell me I'm dead.

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At age 75 you will start playing an online game and become so addicted that you starve to death.

The last thing I'll see in this world is Avocadolite Farm?

The one that I got with the name Auron is just sad:

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Auron: At age 42 you will be struck by lightning while trying to move the antenna beside your mobile home in order to pick up late night adult movies.

I live in a trailer and have no cable. WTF.

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At age 73 you will perish under strange circumstances involving a gallon of lotion, two nine volt batteries, and a photograph of a bicycle.

Um...

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At age 67 you will participate in the newest reality game show. Con-*test*-('")ants battle each other in an arena with swords and spears. You will have a good run (12+ victories) but eventually be killed, much to the audience's dismay.

Um, yay?

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squishyquidgy: At age 57 you will go down in a small raft, in your friend's pool, and subsequently drown.

I guess I find some friends in the next 35 years? Or maybe I shouldn't, because then I won't end up in a raft in their pool!

and

QUOTE

At age 65 you will die from an equipment malfunction in an exciting, fear based reality game show. Your death will receive the highest ratings of any episode of any reality show, ever.

Hee. I guess I'll miss out on that million dollar prize.

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psammead: At age 77 you will spontaneously combust while dining out with your family.

Yeah, like I'd ever be seen outside the house with my family.

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Libelle: At age 73 you will die fighting the Interplanetary War on Terrorism on Camp Harmony, Venus.

Camp Harmony? Guess that's the headquarters of the fundamentalist Harmonians. Looks like they're going to turn to terrorism when book seven comes out and ends without their ship becoming canon.

Using my real name: At age 63 you will fall into a vat of neutral shoe polish, and your body will never be recovered

Using punzy: At age 66 you will die from a lethal overdose of methamphetamines

I think I may have some kind of addiction problem.