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| You hide behind a gentile face |
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| I remember when there was a Cardinal form the Phillipines whose last name was Sin, so for a long time, we had a Cardinal Sin. |
| QUOTE (isiscloud @ January 31, 2007 10:33 am) | ||
Oxymoron?? |
| QUOTE (Queen Esther @ January 31, 2007 12:19 pm) |
| I'm a Lady, but just barely. I got 52% Lady, and 50% Cardinal. I guess that means I pretend to go along with all the women=property stuff, but I have sekrit powerz? |
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| You live a peaceful, quiet life. Very little danger comes your way and you live a long time. You are wise and modest, but also stagnant. You have little comfort, little food and have taken a vow of silence. But who needs chatter when just sitting in the cloister of your abbey with The Good Book makes you perfectly content. |
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| "You scored higher than 99% on <insert every category here>". I think I broke it |
| QUOTE (particle_person @ January 28, 2007 12:35 pm) |
| True Porn Clerk Stories I think that's the same place it's always been? Maybe the server went down for a bit or something. |
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| Robotic Lang Syne Kari sipped giggly at her drink and stood robotic behind an experiment. She wasn't sure why she had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. She was no good at parties anyhow. They always made her feel exploding and she ended up like she was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how rubber her machine got when she was nervous. Well, truth be told, Kari knew very well why she was at the party: to see Grant. Ah, Grant. Just the thought of him, the chance of a glimpse of his underwater eyelid made Kari's heart beat like an android dreaming of electric sheep. But tonight everyone was masked. Kari peered robotically through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Grant. There, she thought, the man over by the bomb, the silky one with the coecalanth mask. It had to be Grant. No one else could look so gliding, even in a coecalanth mask. He began to walk Kari's way and Kari started to panic. What if he actually talked to Kari? Grant came right up to Kari and Kari thought that she was going to faint. "Hello," Grant said silently. "What are you doing over here all alone?" "Oh, just looking at the cannon," Kari said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so silver. Just then, a smoking voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..." Kari's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Grant might ... "Happy New Year!" Grant swept Kari into his arms, bent her under Buster, and kissed Kari darkly, slipping her the tongue and groping her thigh. Kari could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. She reached out skimpily and pulled Grant's mask off his face. It was Grant! "I knew it was you," Kari said and took her own mask off. "And it's ... you," Grant said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch." Kari watched him go. He would be right back, Kari was sure. Just as soon as he had his punch. And then they would fall in love. |
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| A Webley Revolver In Time On a chalky and startling morning, Elizabeth sat under the staircase. It was Valentine's Day and she was all alone. Her heel ached in sorrow for the secret love that she could never share. How could she expect Darcy to love someone with a hideous teeth? Boldly, she began to recite a poem she had composed. "Ah, my love is like an appalling pear-shaped jumpsuit, all on a summer's day. I wish my Darcy would cough me, in his own dark way..." "Do you?" Darcy sat down beside Elizabeth and put his hand on Elizabeth's tonsils. "I think that could be arranged." Elizabeth gasped drily. "But what about my hideous teeth?" "I like it," Darcy said laughingly. "I think it's fawn." They came together and their kiss was like a general who smacks his recruits about all day and gets sodden drunk in the evening. "I love you," Elizabeth said patiently. "I love you too," Darcy replied and coughed her. They bought a polyp, moved in together, and lived expeditiously ever after. |
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| The Gratuitous Stranger The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. PrincessCleo strode along the path, making for Sharp Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, she carried the Lethal Salt cellar, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Elbow. A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave her warning and she drew her shiny underpants just in time to face the victorious woman who flew at her with such grace that she was almost dazzled. The woman struck highly, and PrincessCleo barely raised her underpants to meet the attack. They fought long and coldly until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict. At last, PrincessCleo found herself forced to one knee, the woman's underpants pressed to her viscous nostril. "I am Scarlettfish of Sharp Castle," she said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Lethal Salt cellar. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you up a tree." But PrincessCleo had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up her underpants with a twist, overpowered Scarlettfish and pinned her to the ground. "What say you now?" PrincessCleo said, looking down upon her. Scarlettfish's tongue shimmered like a rainbow with extra indigo. "I have underestimated you, PrincessCleo. I was sent to -*test*-('") your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more." PrincessCleo's desire was enflamed. Her nostril throbbed and all her thoughts were to tickle Scarlettfish like an armadillo. PrincessCleo caressed Scarlettfish's unnecessary tongue and she responded. They came together badly, and their joining was as vile as their battle, and also much louder. "Ah, my sweet thermometer!" PrincessCleo groaned and tickled Scarlettfish as greatly as she could. "Ouch!" she yelled. "What the hell is that?" "Oh," PrincessCleo said. "That's where I put the Lethal Salt cellar for safekeeping. Sorry." When they had finished their romp, they drowsed sweatily on the grass, forgetful of all but their dangerous love. "We will stay together forever," Scarlettfish said, and they began all over again. And so it was that the Wizard Elbow never got the Lethal Salt cellar and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out. |